The Tighter the Ropes, the Closer We Are
by darkbluesharpie
Summary: The gist of it all is, Dean is gagged, blindfolded, and bound, with his knees spread open by a rope. Castiel has a vibrator in him that has ten settings, and Dean always finishes at the last one, except Cas keeps resetting it after 9, not letting Dean finish. He does this 4 times until Dean is a sobbing, begging mess.


**Title**: The Tighter the Ropes, the Closer We Are  
**Pairing**: Dean/Castiel  
**Rating**: NC-17  
**Tags**: Established relationship, bondage, vibrator, ropes, blindfolds, gags, orgasm denial, crying!Dean, begging!Dean, aftercare, body worship, massage, praise kink, top!Castiel, bottom!Dean, this is 95% smut and 5% fluff  
**Summary**: _Five. He wanted five rounds. Dean had started to tremble again from the anticipation as Castiel explained it to him. There would be four denials before he would be allowed to come. Four times he would have to go through the settings of their favorite vibrator without release. There were ten small buttons on the small remote control, each with a number beside it, each designed to take Dean apart gradually, at the pace determined by whoever held it.  
And Castiel liked to take his time._  
So the gist of it all is, Dean is gagged, blindfolded, and bound, with his knees spread open by a rope. Castiel has a vibrator in him that has ten settings, and Dean always finishes at the last one, except Cas keeps resetting it after 9, not letting Dean finish. He does this 4 times until Dean is a sobbing, begging mess.  
**Author's Notes**: Hey, look! A pwp where Dean isn't in panties! I'm shocked, too. I know I should be updating the Luministia story, but life happens. And so does my DCBB. And apparently this. But I will be updating it soon, pinky promise.  
Another shout out to the lovely miss Faeryn for proof reading my story and telling me it was postable. This is a gift for my appreciation, because she is awesome.  
I hope you all like it! 3  
**Spoilers**: None.  
**Disclaimer**: I own nothing, nor do I make any profits from this story. I hope you guys like it. I apologize for any grammatical issues and misspellings, this is unbeta'd.

* * *

Taut muscles pulled tight on the restraints as his body convulsed against the bed. It was reaching that point of almost too-good, enough to be considered torture. His chest refused to expand enough for him to get a full breath of air, making it even more difficult to breath around the gag in his mouth. Sweat rolled down his skin, pooling at the small of his back and thinly coating his body, catching the breath of the man over him and making him shiver. The sound of his harsh, short breath was almost enough to mask the persistent noise coming from between Dean's legs, the vibrator as unrelenting and determined as the man using it on him.

Dean grunted as he felt the vibrations strengthen with the press of a button.

"Seven."

Castiel's voice was deeper, rougher than usual, sounding as if he were the one tied down and being taken apart. Seven. The word had almost no meaning in Dean's strung out mind, but somewhere in the back of his head came an understanding; seven. That meant three more. There were three more settings to go through.

If he was lucky.

The intensity at this level made it almost impossible for Dean to control himself. He didn't know what he would do if Castiel told him to stay still; out of submission and his natural need to please his boyfriend, he would have done everything he could to obey. He just wasn't sure if he'd be able to deliver.

Luckily, Castiel hadn't deprived him of his right to move, which allowed him to grind his hips down, to try and turn this unrelenting teasing into satisfaction. It didn't help. The hand holding the tool moved it with him, not letting him move against it. The pressure stayed firm and unforgiving against the sensitive spot inside of him. Harder and harder he tried to make the object shift, even a little, just enough to give him an edge of control, but it was fruitless.

Everything was black; the first thing Castiel had done to him, before he had undressed, before he was even allowed to enter their bedroom, was wrap the tie he had been wearing around Dean's head, blocking off his sight. He didn't need his vision to know that Castiel was grinning at him and his vain attempts to make any of this easier for himself. The thought of his taunting, smug look, mixed with his desperation made him whimper.

Each time Dean squirmed, which happened frequently once they passed the fifth setting, he could feel the restriction of the rope holding his legs apart. It was a new tie position for them. Dean loved it when Castiel found or thought up something different for the bedroom.

After the blindfold had come the bit gag, Castiel kissing each cheek before putting it in place. The anticipation of what they were going to get up to that night had already picked up by then, the light nervous/excited feeling having made him shake slightly. Castiel had always reacted to it with small, affectionate gestures, with soft kisses and gentle touches, making Dean feel sheltered and safe until the tremors had gradually subsided.

Once Dean's wrists were fastened to the headboard- a kiss placed on each one before they were wrapped- he heard Castiel shift lower, feeling the bed dip between his legs. The command came for him to bend his knees, and he had immediately obeyed. Firm, tight cuffs had been buckled on each leg, on his thigh just above the knee. He could tell they were new by the toughness and inflexibility of the leather. The ones at his wrists were so soft and worn by comparison, but he had the feeling these new ones were going to be well used, and become a matching set soon enough.

After each cuff was securely in place, Dean had felt a hand grip him under the knee and push it towards his shoulder, lifting his lower body off of the bed. He had heard material being shifted around, and when he was placed back down, Dean had felt a pillow cushioning his lower back. He had continued to lie back and focus on keeping his breathing even as Castiel clipped something to the cuff at his right knee, but it wasn't until the man fastened his left knee that the picture of his boyfriend's intentions formed in his head. Castiel had pushed his left thigh back towards his body just slightly, and Dean could feel the right knee being tugged when the restraint clipped in place with a short metallic snap.

The pillow resting under him provided cushion against the rope circling behind his back, tied at the ends to both of his knees, effectively keeping them both bent and spread open. Displayed. Defenseless. Fucking _perfect_. That was when Castiel told him of his plans, what he had in store for Dean that night as he began prepping him.

Five. He wanted five rounds. Dean had started to tremble again from the anticipation as Castiel explained it to him. There would be four denials before he would be allowed to come. Four times he would have to go through the settings of their favorite vibrator without release. It was hard to smirk around the gag, but Dean was pretty sure he had managed it- right before Castiel had inserted the toy. There were ten small buttons on the small remote control, each with a number beside it, each designed to take Dean apart gradually, at the pace determined by whoever held it. And Castiel liked to take his time.

That was several rounds ago. Exactly how many had passed, he wasn't sure; Dean never could keep track of numbers when he was this strung out of his mind.

Instinctively, he rolled his hips down over and over, desperately trying to give himself relief. Logically, he knew it was useless, but his mind had no room for logic; everything was screaming for release, only able to react to whatever Castiel did to him. The pleasure was building up, he knew he was getting close. He had no idea how much more of this he could take, but he held on to the confidence that Castiel would never push him too far. If his boyfriend wanted to keep going, then he knew he could take it.

That didn't make it any easier, however, when he heard the small click of a button, causing the intensity of the vibrator to go up.

"_Ughmff_," Dean grunted unintelligibly through the gag. "Gd, _ffck_, kmss, plss."

"Eight," Castiel said. "What was that, baby? You say something?"

Dean could hear the smug look on Castiel's face. It wasn't enough that he had him completely helpless, his boyfriend had to taunt him, too. Actually, no- it definitely wasn't enough.

There was something about being defenseless. Dean was strong, and more than capable of fighting back, which was why he needed the restraints. As much as he liked playing the willful submissive, who would gladly and eagerly kneel with one hand clasping the other behind his back, should that be what Castiel wanted, there was something… _intense_ about having that freedom taken away from him. There was something about being tied down, blindfolded, and gagged. There was something about having all control taken away that made Dean feel liberated.

Uncontrollable whimpers emitted from Dean's throat, shameless and needing as he rutted frantically and desperately and pointlessly. He could feel tears stream down his hot cheeks, leaving paths in their wake that grew cool then faded to warm with the pace of Castiel's breath. The restraints around his wrists were shaking, and it was only then that he realized how badly his body trembled against the bed. The constant, unyielding pressure against his prostate was _burning_, the flame spreading throughout his body until he could have sworn he was on fire.

He didn't know how much more of this he could take.

Another small click.

"Nine."

Dean shouted around his gag, loud and long, until his lungs emptied and he gasped, the outcry breaking off into short, stuttered sobs. If he had the presence of mind to speak, his words would be pleading, begging without shame. He was so fucking close. Just one more click, god, please, just one more and he could come. No stimulation to his cock was needed, as they had proved time and time again. Just get him to that tenth setting, and it would be over, just please, one more click, because he needed, _god_, he _needed_ to-

The sound of the button being pressed down finally came, and for a fraction of a moment, there was relief. But when it was released, it didn't bring that sharp, sweet power of the tenth setting. No, the power was slower, softer, the sounds quiet and low, the vibrator giving off the feeble strength of the first setting.

Abruptly, Dean went silent as his whole body seized up and spasmed hard against the bed and his restraints. His muscles tensed hard, his whole being revolting in protest of the sudden lack of sensation. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't scream, he couldn't think.

Seconds passed far more slowly than the rules of time should allow, but eventually the ache of denial passed, and Dean was left gasping for breath. God, how many was that now? How many times had Castiel taken him to the edge, held him there until it was almost too much, and then dragged him back? He had lost count.

When his body went still, he felt a firm pressure release from around the base of his cock as Castiel removed his hand. Fuck, Dean hadn't even noticed, but of course he knew why; even if they weren't on the last setting, Castiel wasn't going to chance Dean coming by accident. No, he wasn't done with him. They were going to go through the whole thing again. The thought made Dean whimper.

As the frustration ebbed and his heart rate slowed, Dean found himself become more aware of his surroundings. Naturally, his remaining senses all locked on to Castiel and his movements. There was a soft sound as something small hit the bed, Dean hearing and feeling the echo of it through the mattress. He guessed it was the remote, as a moment later, two large, warm hands stroked firmly up and down Dean's chest.

"Oh, Dean," Castiel said softly. The awe in Castiel's was unmistakable, his touch fond, and Dean's body instinctively relaxed. He was with Castiel, which meant he was safe.

Castiel would take care of him, he just had to let him.

"You're doing so good, Dean," Castiel told him, his voice rough but soft. "That was four. Just one more time, can you do that for me, baby? One more round for me?"

Of course he would. Dean would do anything for him. Castiel had learned early in their relationship that if he added the words 'For me,' at the end of a request, Dean would go to any lengths to do it. It was why he was so careful about which requests he attached it to.

Dean focused on Castiel's hands, soothing against his hot skin. They trailed all the way up his arms, fingers wrapping around his wrists before coming back down, palms flat against him. They weren't teasing touches, he didn't stop to play with his nipples; these were soothing caresses, made to encourage, to help Dean relax before the next round.

God, Dean loved these moments. He lived for them, the little meaningful breaks between their playtime. His arousal was almost painful at this point, and judging by the harshness of his boyfriend's breath, he knew he was just as affected by all of it- he always did get wound up when he took Dean apart like this. And still, they stopped. Not to draw it out, or to make the challenge more difficult; this wasn't about the build up to an orgasm. It was about the moment.

It was almost worshipful, the way Castiel ran his hands over Dean's body, like he wanted to feel every inch of him, to know how each part of Dean reacted to his touch. Dean tried to focus on his breathing as he felt those hands travel smoothly up his thighs, massaging the taut muscle there. Dean groaned in appreciation; he never thought about how much of a strain he put on his body when he was tied up, or in a certain position for too long. Luckily for him, Castiel didn't forget.

Castiel's hands continued their kneading until he got to the restraints, then slowly glided them back down his inner thighs, stopping when his hands framed Dean's erection.

What Dean wouldn't give to be able to see Castiel's face right now. He could imagine it, and in his head, Castiel looked pleased. Proud. Maybe as awed as he had sounded earlier. Strong thumbs worked firm, slow circles into the tight muscle in the crease of his thighs, where his legs met his body. Dean sighed, lost in the feeling of it.

He was so lost in it, that he startled, jumping slightly when he felt his boyfriend's lips press into the crease above his hand, causing Castiel to chuckle at him.

"Just me, baby," Castiel said fondly, and Dean could feel the heat of his breath on his skin as he spoke. His boyfriend continued to press sweet kisses over Dean's stomach, and up his body. "You're so good, Dean. So good for me. You ready?"

Dean took in a deep breath and held it momentarily before letting it out with a short nod. Hands gripped Dean's hips, and the kisses continued onto his neck, over his jawline, before finally, too briefly, he could feel those lips on his open mouth, through his gag. Castiel placed just two more kisses over his own tie, where Dean's eyes were covered before he sat back up. Dean felt Castiel's hands leave his hips, one in favor of picking up the remote, the other returning to grip the base of the vibrator that was still on the first setting, and pressing it firmly against Dean's prostate.

Another deep breath. Then he heard the click of the button.

"Two."

The first settings weren't so bad in terms of strength, but that didn't mean they weren't hard. It was because the vibrations were so weak that made them more of a tease than anything else. They just weren't _enough_. Dean concentrated on his breathing, trying to keep it steady and even. He knew it wouldn't last long. His prostate was already so sensitive from the first rounds that he could feel everything, but Dean still needed more, and it took a lot of self control not to try and grind down. He knew his control would soon slip, and his instincts would take over, but for the moment, he kept his composure.

And he knew Castiel liked it when he held out.

After another moment- it was next to impossible for Dean to track the passing of time- he heard the next click.

"Three."

There was something about being tied down and having his control taken away that made Dean feel free. That's how it had always felt, with anyone he trusted enough to be so vulnerable with, which made for a very short list. But there was something about being tied down by_ Castiel_- not about having his control taken away, but about giving it to someone, that made Dean feel perfect.

With others in the past, it was about the kink, about the pretend struggle and the power-control. It wasn't until Dean met Castiel that it changed; for them, it wasn't about the turn ons or the fetishes- it was about trust. For the first time, Dean trusted someone enough to give himself over completely, and not just physically. He could recall how scary that had been, at the beginning of their relationship- bringing emotions into this kind of thing could get dangerous- but there was just something about Castiel that made him want to try.

Dean had been the one to introduce Castiel to this lifestyle. He had been into this kind of thing for many years now, and he could usually tell when someone had the kind of personality that would go well in countering his. Regardless of how he acted otherwise, in the bedroom, he had always preferred to be submissive. When he and Castiel reached the intimate stage in their relationship- which took much longer than Dean would have liked, but his boyfriend had insisted on doing it all properly and wanted to wait until at least the second date- Dean noticed how he liked to take charge. He was perfect.

It had taken him months to build up the courage to confess his kinks to Castiel. Dean had never been the type to feel shame for the things he enjoyed- hell, even his brother knew about his love of the ropes. That being said, he had never felt for anyone what he felt for Castiel, and thus he was rather nervous to tell him about his love for being tied down. What if it freaked him out? What if he thought Dean was too much for him? What if telling Castiel meant he would either have to lose him, or give up that lifestyle?

Luckily, for both of them, Castiel had fallen for Dean just as hard by that point, and though he was hesitant and a little nervous himself, he had been willing to give it a try.

Turned out he was a natural.

"Four."

Dean let out a small sound. This was when the burn started, around the fourth setting. His chest felt constricted, like there was something heavy pressing over his heart. _Breathe_, he thought to himself. He needed to concentrate on his breathing before the moment got away from him.

The smallest part of Castiel's hand rested against him where he held the toy; it felt so strong, steady, sure. Castiel's hands made Dean feel safe. He would trust him with anything.

That was another surprise in their relationship; while Dean had always had enough trust with his previous partners to let them render him defenseless, it wasn't until he had done this with Castiel that he learned there were vastly different kinds of trust. With others, he would trust them with his body, and know that they would never let him come to physical harm. But with Castiel, it was so much more than that. Dean found himself, for the first time in his life, emotionally open. With Castiel, he was truly naked. And the scariest part? He _loved_ it. He wanted to be good not because it would get Castiel off, but because it would made him happy. He wanted to be good _for_ him, and nothing made him happier than pleasing his boyfriend.

And if Castiel's reaction to this new game was anything to go by, he was pretty damn pleased with him.

At this point in their relationship, they knew each other's hits and misses pretty well, and one thing that was definitely a bullseye for them both was anything that involved Dean having to hold out and Castiel being in control.

Honestly, anything with Castiel taking charge was enough for him, whether he be restrained with rope or words, or on his back in missionary. He loved it when Castiel was responsible for him. He lived for being at Castiel's mercy. And to be strapped down and held open, to have his eyesight and ability to speak taken away, to know that everything he was wasn't in his own hands- there wasn't another feeling like this in the world. He was in strong, steady, sure hands. And he felt safer for it.

Another click.

"Five."

_Fuck._ Dean couldn't help himself; he shifted slightly against the bed, hoping to force the toy to move even just an inch, but Castiel kept it in place. The pressure slowly began to build up, and Dean let out a desperate whine as he continued to squirm in vain.

A small gasp escape him when he felt something surprisingly soft and unexpectedly gentle brush against his thigh. A brief press of lips; that was all he needed. With his new encouragement, Dean took a deep breath and forced his body under control.

Breathe. He could do this, he could hold out just a little longer. He could make Castiel proud.

"Six."

Dean's abs flexed without his consent, causing his upper body to lift a few inches before he could get himself under control. Try as he might, his breathing was coming out in shorter and shorter lengths, and his chest felt tighter by the setting. Each time he moved, he felt the pull of the rope holding his legs oped, keeping him exposed.

His cock throbbed almost painfully from neglect. It had taken Dean by surprise that Castiel didn't bother to give him a cock ring, but then he understood- his boyfriend wanted him to hold back on his own. There would be no stimulation, but there wouldn't be any help in blocking it, either (not unless he_ really_ needed it).

He could feel his blood pounding in his ears, thumping with each frantic heartbeat. What number were they on again? How many more did he have to go through? He felt like he was burning, his skin too tight, his lungs not working fast enough.

He couldn't breathe.

"Seven."

A series of unintelligible sounds streamed from his mouth, most of them pleading, some of them words, all muffled by his gag. Dean's toes curled tightly, his hands turned into fists clenching around the ropes attached to the cuffs, in a valiant attempt to hold on. No longer able to control his rapid panting, Dean tried to search for something else to concentrate on, something that might help encourage, or at least distract him from finishing too soon.

Instantly, his senses picked up on Castiel, honing in on his movements, his sounds. He could hear his breathing, and it provided a comfort to know that Castiel sounded as strained by all of this as he did. Maybe this was a struggle for him, too. Maybe he was holding out himself.

The vibrations were so intense, and Dean felt like he was about to come apart. He concentrated harder on Castiel, tried to imagine what he looked like if he could see him. Suddenly there was another heat on his skin, one that was caused by being watched intently. He could _feel_ Castiel's eyes on him, taking him in, seeing how he reacted to every ministration, every touch. In his mind's eye, Castiel looked like he was struggling, and it made Dean feel amazing to know he could cause that just by lying there, and taking whatever Castiel wanted to give him.

God, it felt amazing to hold every fraction of Castiel's attention on himself, to be the sole object of all his affections.

Dean had never been the religious type, but when he was with Castiel like this, when he felt this adored, this_ loved_, he thought this was the closest he had ever felt to being saved.

"Eight."

Dean was gasping, each breath being punched out of him with audible force. Sweat lingered at his back, against his cuffs, under Castiel's tie that was blinding him, feeling warm and chilled at the same time. His blood boiled, his heart raced, his muscles strained as he gripped and tugged at his bonds; his body was in struggle, but it was his mind that was starting to slip. He was so fucking_ close_- he didn't know how much longer he could hold out.

Something light slid down his cheeks, and he realized belatedly that he had started crying again from the intensity. It was too much, all of it. He felt like he was going to catch on fire.

His body started rutting unashamedly- he was actually proud to have make it this far with such little desperate thrusting. He fucked down hard against the toy, urgently trying to make it move, needing the friction, needing to be fucked back, but it made no difference. The vibrator- or rather Castiel- remained stubbornly immovable

Click.

"Nine."

"_Mrgh_," Dean grunted. "_Mm gd, ffk Ks, ples, ples_, Ks_ ples_."

Castiel let out a low moan.

"Fuck, Dean," his voice sounded so rough, breaking with his own need. "You look so good like this, baby, wish you could see it. So desperate, trying to fuck yourself. Is that what you want, Dean? Want me to let you fuck yourself?"

The sound Dean let out was a mixture of a shout and a moan, both equally desperate, both pleaded for what Castiel was offering him.

"God, you don't know what you do to me. You ready, baby? You ready to come?"

"_Yss! Ks, ples_!"

Click.

And there is was. The tenth and final setting. The sharp strength of it shook through Dean's whole body, feeling the vibrations in every part of him.

Dean's body reacted independently of his brain, frantically rutting as hard as he could against the toy, and then finally- _it moved against him_.

He could feel Castiel's hand each time he sheathed it inside of him as he fucked him with the vibrator, giving Dean that extra bit he needed. His whole body tensed up, like the pull of a slingshot until it was let go.

And suddenly, Dean was coming. It felt like a punch to the gut, in the best fucking way, with how hard it hit him. He seized up, his muscles all flexing at once- his hands white knuckled the ropes, his thighs pulled hard against the cuffs, his toes curled, his eyes rolled back, he threw his head back against the pillow, his jaw clenched onto his gag as he cried out- until finally, he went lax against the bed.

There was always this surreal feeling Dean got after a particularly powerful orgasm; his body and his mind both felt light and loose. Untethered, like he could float away. Vaguely, he could feel the intensity of their favorite vibrator lessen quickly before it was removed. Somewhere above him, he could hear heavy breathing, the slick sound of skin against lubricated skin, until, with a groan, he felt warm, wet streaks over his stomach and chest, and one determined drop on his neck.

Time was sluggish, and moved in large, slow sections all at the same time. Naturally, he focused on Castiel to stop his head from rushing.

He felt his restraints loosen. A small, metallic click sounded before two, strong hands gripped him under his knees and slowly lowered his legs to the bed. Next were his wrists, the ropes being unclipped before his hands were placed on the pillow beside his head. Gently, Castiel's hand inched behind his head, lifting it slightly and cradling it as the other undid the clasp of the gag and removed it.

Warm lips pressed to his forehead as the tie was worked off before two kisses were placed over Dean's still closed eyes.

He knew what came next, so he stayed still and tried to let himself relax.

Dean doubted there existed a sub anywhere in the world that didn't love aftercare, especially after doing so good with a difficult challenge. But as much as he loved it, and the affection and attention that he secretly coveted from his partners, he had never been with someone that loved giving it just as much.

When Dean had first explained the concept of aftercare to him, Castiel had taken it and run. Because while Dean loved being taken care of, he had never wanted to admit how much he liked affection. If he was good, then yay, everyone was happy. But he didn't need to be _cuddled._ And he told Castiel as much, except he had this unshakable feeling that Castiel could always see through his bullshit.

He also believed that Castiel used aftercare as an excuse to give Dean all of the warmth and tenderness that he secretly ached for but was too much of a chicken to ask for.

So now, after any and every play they did that required even the smallest amount of strain on Dean's part, he got some form of aftercare. The more difficult it was, the more affection he got. Which meant he was in store for quite a bit of attention of the gentle hands-on variety.

Dean kept his eyes closed, choosing to feel and listen instead of watch as Castiel removed all four cuffs from his arms and thighs and dropped them somewhere beside the bed.

Strong, steady, sure hands gripped his right leg where the restraint had been and massaged the muscle. Dean let out a small sigh of appreciation, feeling the muscle relax.

"You did so good, Dean," Castiel said softly. "I'm very proud of you."

Methodically, Castiel kneaded the tight, strained muscles in both of Dean's legs, following his fingers with light kisses until he was satisfied with that area. Dean felt his boyfriend place his hands on his hips, not gripping, just holding, as soft lips worked over the creases at his thighs. Dean found himself holding his breath when he picked up on where those lips were headed, and held back a gasp when Castiel kissed the base of his soft cock.

"You're so beautiful, Dean," Castiel whispered. "So beautiful when you beg for it, when you let go like that."

The kisses trailed all over his length, all the way up to the tip where Castiel held it for a while longer. He was still sensitive, and he couldn't help the little twitch he gave. Dean could feel those lips smile against him before he sat up. Warm palms glided over his stomach and chest, wiping away their emissions with a cloth that Dean hadn't heard him pick up but heard him drop next to the cuffs. His hands followed their path to his shoulders and continuing the massage on his arms.

Several moments passed in silence as Castiel finished rubbing his muscles and traced along his arms once more, a light touch ending with him lacing their fingers together, palm against palm beside Dean's head. Dean felt him lean down, pressing him into the pillow as he got closer. He kept his eyes closed.

"I'm proud of you," Castiel repeated. Dean could feel his warm breath on his face as he spoke. "I didn't know if you'd make it passed the third round, you wanted it so bad. But you kept going. Because I wanted you to. You're always exceeded my expectations, you know that?"

More kisses; on his forehead, his temples, across his jawline, his cheekbones, everywhere but his lips.

"You'll do anything for me, wouldn't you? Or at least try. You amaze me, Dean."

Castiel's breath warmed his dry lips as he hovered over Dean, who could feel himself starting to slip. He knew what Castiel was going to say next before he took the breath to form the words, just as much as he knew when he said it, he wouldn't be able to hold back.

"I love you so much."

It was because he was tired- this kind of play took a lot out of him, after all. He was completely drained, and sometimes exhaustion after such an intense orgasm made him tear up a little. He wasn't emotional, he was just hopped up on endorphins, he couldn't control himself.

Finally, Castiel kissed him. It was gentle, encouraging, and everything Dean needed. Hot tears rolled down his face, wiped away by Castiel's thumbs. When his boyfriend pulled back, Dean opened his eyes.

Castiel was smiling at him and he couldn't help but return it.

And then something shifted in that moment. It happened as Dean was on his back, looking up at Castiel, who outside of his family was the single most important thing in Dean's life. He felt this light feeling in his chest, and he recognized it as the one that he always got when he looked at his boyfriend like this. Dean had never felt this with anyone else. It was important that Castiel knew that.

"I love you, too."

It barely came out as a whisper, but he knew Castiel heard it when he saw the surprise on his face. Because Dean never said 'I love you.' He said things close to it ("I couldn't live without you," and "Wanna share my pie?" were some good indicators.), and his actions showed it (Dean always smiling when Castiel entered a room, and letting his boyfriend change the channel when _Dr. Sexy_ was on.), but he had never said the words before. Until now.

He was probably just tired, though.

His boyfriend smirked at him, as if he could tell his train of thought, but luckily was too tired to call Dean out on it. For now. He rolled them both over and pulled Dean close against him before grabbing the blanket and wrapping it over their bodies.

Dean sighed, managing to gather just enough strength to hook his leg over Castiel and pull it between his own, and fit his arm over his boyfriend's waist.

They both fell asleep very quickly after, with Dean's last thought being that maybe it was time to admit that cuddling was, in fact, awesome.


End file.
